What is it about a Friends school, and Oakwood Friends School in particular, that distinguishes it from other schools?

Suphan: There’s an atmosphere of inclusion. Students can sit at any table in the dining room and nobody thinks it strange. We have an atmosphere of respect rather than competition. This is true for students, faculty, and administrators. The fact that faculty members are addressed by their first names may be perceived as a lack of respect, but it’s quite the reverse. The teachers aren’t separated by title. Earlier, I worked at a prep school that was quite traditional. The adults there were addressed as “sir” or “ma’am” and the students could put such a spin on the word “sir”. Here at Oakwood, I, as a faculty member, am not anything more or less than a human being just as the students are.

How is the Friends’ philosophy integrated into student life at Oakwood?

Suphan: The strong sense of community flows out of the Quaker tenet of real respect for other people. Equality cuts across religious, economic and ethnic grounds. And being different or distinctive is a good thing. Our kids are accepted for who they are. They’re appreciated for their talent, but not expected to be perfect. By the way, it’s important to know that you don’t have to be a Quaker to come here. In fact, most are not. Eight out of the 162 students and only six of 37 teachers are Quaker. Oakwood is a Quaker school in philosophy and values.

Integrity, knowing right from wrong, is very important here. It’s not as important what you wear as what’s inside. This stems from the tenet of simplicity and being careful about resources. I’m not going to tell you students don’t have cell phones or don’t wear nice clothes on occasion, but they know that these aren’t important.

Respect, integrity, simplicity. Peace comes out of these principles. It’s not OK to say hurtful things, to tease, or certainly to hit And now we come back full circle to the sense of community and what is important. A student applicant once asked me, ‘Do you purposely pick students who fit the Oakwood mold or does the School change a person?’ Certainly we want students who can appreciate Quaker values, but we also know that the School plays a role in shaping the students who come here. A quarter to a third of our students are new each year. Two to three weeks into the year you can’t tell old and new Oakwood students apart.

How is the Friends’ philosophy integrated into Oakwood’s classrooms?

Suphan: Because the classes are small [12-15 students per class on average], there’s a lot more discussion. It’s not a teacher teaching, but a teacher asking questions, asking to clarify. The teacher is more of a facilitator than a lecturer. Two years ago when the U.S. became involved in Iraq, there was a lot of debate on campus about this. Two Community Meetings were devoted to the subject. What struck me during these discussions was that the students really listened to one another. They didn’t make fun. Nobody felt intimidated to say what he or she felt. Of course, the anti-intervention position was much stronger here than that of supporting military engagement, but everybody’s views were aired and heard. One of my advisees said that she often took the minority view in her classes, not because she believed it, but to show that is was OK to do that.

Let’s talk about Oakwood students. How would you characterize them?

Suphan: There are a lot of our students who come out of the public school system. They’re not doing badly, but their needs are not being met. One of our students said that at his old school, he understood math, but was never given the chance to ask questions in class. We tend to get students who are not assertive or forceful. And when they arrive here, suddenly, they’re in a class of 10 to 15 students and they can ask questions and participate fully.

Adolescents tend to live up or down to the expectations we have of them. And they really try to live up to those expectations. For example, I’m often out of my office when I’m on campus and I never lock my door and often leave my door open. I know that the kids have been there when I’m not in. Sometimes, there’s note saying that they borrowed a pen. But I’ve never had kids take anything. That just isn’t the culture here.

Oakwood is located in Poughkeepsie, NY where Vassar College [a highly selective, liberal arts college] is. Does Oakwood have any relationship with Vassar?

Suphan: We’re in the town, but not the city of Poughkeepsie, two and a half miles from Vassar. Our students use the Art Museum at Vassar. We have kids who have exhausted our math curriculum through Calculus who have taken math courses there. We also have students who study Japanese at the College.

What do Oakwood students do upon graduation from the School?

Suphan: Oakwood is a college preparatory school so the assumption is that kids come here to go to college. Our approach here is that there’s a college for everyone. Some students know the Ivy League and that’s all they know. We expose them to the array of choices out there and our kids go to a wide variety of schools. Nonetheless, our college counselor says that our students tend to look at small, liberal arts schools in the Northeast where they can replicate Oakwood, where they can make a difference.